Saturday, December 12, 2015

Where are we, again?

Okay, it's been two hours and neither me nor Rainy have figured out how to get out of the maze, let alone how to even move! The floor keeps falling every time we take a step. At first it was terrifying, but now it's just annoying. You think you're getting somewhere and whoops! No you're not. Ugh...

Maze of Malevolence? More like Maze of Maybe. The only "malevolent" part of it is that you have no was to be sure which way is up or down, left or right... blah. It's just too confusing.

"So..." began Rainy. "Any idea how this place works?"

"Nope." I answered.

That conversation has been repeated at least 50 times during our duration in this awful place. The same words, but this time was a little different. It took 50 times to actually think. Hmm...

I looked around, noticing asteroids, giant spaghetti monsters, you name it. But none were walking or even resting on the unstable tiles that acted as tiny islands for me and Rainy.

They were all... flying. 

Upon this realization, I got an idea that could only come forth after two hours in crazy town.

"Hey, Rainy. I wanna try something."

Rainy looked at me surprised. "What?"

"Just trust me– it's a weird idea but I think it will work!"

"What's your idea?"

I looked down from our floating island and grew uneasy. That's a long way down...

"Let's try to fly."

It was now or never, so off the tile I jumped! I was horrified for a few quick moments, but I tried to believe I could fly just like in those weird fairy tales. When it didn't work the first time, I started getting really scared. I could hear Rainy yelling from a while away.

But then... I started hovering!

I looked around, and realized I was in a big soap bubble. It turns out that a spaghetti monster was blowing bubbles when I accidentally dropped into one. I waved at the spaghetti monster from up high.

"Thank you!!!" I called.

The spaghetti monster waved one of its noodle arms at me. Soon, Rainy's tile was coming into view!

"Hey, Rainy! It worked, I can fly! Sorta..."

"Thank goodness you're okay! Yeesh, don't scare me like that. At least give me some warning so I could jump with you!"

We laughed a little until the subject of getting out of the maze came back up.

"So... how are we gonna do it?" asked Rainy.

At this point, I could see another circle of back-and-forth asking come about. Sure, I could kind of hover in a bubble now, but I still had no idea where to go.

We kind of sat there defeated on the tile. It seemed pretty hopeless. That is, until a mysterious floating paper appeared!

• • •


"Aww, c'mon, can't you give them directions or something?" Happy pouted.

"No, no, NO! For the quadrillionth time, that breaks the rules! They have to figure it out for themselves!" Miss Magician Mysterious was obviously irked.

Happy scratched his head. "Uhh... but who made the rules?"

"I did!"

"Then why don't you change the rules?" 

"I don't want to!"


"UGH!!!!" the lion was exasperated. "I've waited an eternity to test this portal out! Ya think I'm just gonna throw some directions at them and let my work go to waste!?" she hissed at Happy.

Suddenly, Happy noticed something purple and swirly by the maze entrance. "Hey... That's a portal, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah, but––"

"So then this maze goes nowhere! They're not trying to escape the maze, they're trying to get out of the portal!" Happy grabbed a pencil and paper.

"Mmhm," the magician scoffed. "That's the beauty of it–– Hey! What are you doing!?"

Happy had scrawled something on a piece of paper and moved to drop it in the portal. The lioness tried to block it, but Happy jumped surprisingly high and SLAM DUNKED THE NOTE RIGHT IN THE PORTAL

"Why, you... How dare you ruin my project!?" the magician asked indignantly.

"Well, how dare YOU try to trap my friends in a maze of no return!"

"I–– Hey, you're right. Why did I even build the portal in the first place? I never wanted to be a magician. I wanted to be a sculptor..."

Happy patted her on the back. "I know how you feel... Want a mango? We have a few inside."

"Sure... Thank you."

• • •